Fuzzed Memory
by cuz-CM's-awesome
Summary: After that 09er party, nothing seems the same anymore. Veronica is angry and sad she needs someone to talk to but she just can't tell her dad. Story begins right after Lilly Kane is murdered and goes on to the first season.
1. Say it isn't true

This is my first Veronica Mars story, let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Veronica kept hazing in and out between dreams and reality she didn't know what was real anymore. She felt a soft touch on her shoulder and rolled over onto her back. She looked up, Duncan was leaning over her "Veronica…" he whispered. For a moment all the thoughts in her head cleared.

"Kane" she sighed back and beckoned her to him. She pushed her hands through his hair and moaned when his lips touched hers.

"I love you" Kane said kissing her neck.

Her world blurred again and everything went fuzzy.

* * *

Veronica blinked a couple of times, her brain felt fuzzy. She pushed herself up, off of the white crinkled sheets. 'What happened last night?' she thought to herself 'why am I here?' She swung her feet over the edge of the bed, her body felt sore. She looked down and saw her white underwear lying discarded on the floor. 'Oh my god!' her brain searched frantically for answers but there were none. "No no no" she muttered and felt the tears slide down her cheeks.

The walk to her car was not only physically painful with her hangover but mentally too. She got to her car and unlocked the door. As she got into the drivers seat she winced. She took one last look at the large house and then drove herself home.

As she took out her key to her apartment she took in a deep breath, her father being the man that he was, could smell a lie from a mile away. How was she going to explain why she was getting home at eight the next morning when she was supposed to be home at eleven the night before? Or more importantly the fact that she had just been raped. She was surprised her father hadn't already sent out the entire police force looking for her.

She slowly opened the door, looking for the sight of her father waiting on the couch with a scowl on his face but he wasn't there. Veronica looked around and noticed a piece of paper stuck to the fridge. She walked over and took it off the fridge. It was a note from her dad saying that he was sorry he couldn't be home for supper but he had gotten a call from a friend who needed some help and that he would see her in the morning.

Veronica was almost disappointed, on one hand even though she didn't want to tell her dad about what had happened she wished she was wrapped in his arms right now. He always knew what to do to make her feel better.

She went to the bathroom and took a warm shower, when she was finished she got into her pyjamas, rolled her white dress from the night before into a ball and shoved it into the back of her closet. She lay down on her bed and shoved her head into her pillow, letting her emotions over take her and she cried. Soon she was fast asleep.

* * *

Keith opened the door to the apartment and was almost knocked over by the force of Back-up jumping on him.

"Whoa Buddy" Keith said patting his head and moving into the living room. It was just after noon, later than he had expected to be home but he had run into some difficulties the night before.

He took off his jacket ready for a good nap, he supposed that Veronica was out but when he went to go into his room he saw through the crack between the doors that Veronica was curled up on her side fast asleep.

He opened the door to her room and went to sit beside her on the bed. It wasn't normal for her to sleep in so late; she was normally up at seven when she would take Back-up for a walk. Now he understood the dog's eagerness when he had seen him. He hadn't been out for his walk yet that morning. Keith looked over to the door, where Back-up stood whimpering.

Keith wasn't sure, but he had a feeling that not all was right in Veronica's world. Well at least more so than when he last checked. He knew that the whole Lilly Kane death was hard on Veronica and he also knew that the only times that Veronica slept in past seven was when she had gotten barley any sleep at all.

"Veronica" he said nudging her side. He put his hand on her arm and squeezed gently. Veronica jumped awake and he saw fear in her eyes before her mask fell and she realised it was him.

"Hey dad" she said quietly "you're home late."

"Yeah" Keith said "Things took longer than I thought they would." Her reaction to his hand on her arm had surprised him. Something was definitely off and he was determined to find out.

Veronica was slightly nervous he could tell, though she did cover it up very well. "How was the party last night?" he asked "Everything go alright?"

"Yeah it was fine." Veronica said, she looked over to the door like she was trying to plan her escape root.

"That's good to hear. What time did you get back?" Keith asked.

"Oh just around eleven maybe a little later." Veronica said not giving anything away.

"Really?" Keith asked "Well that's hard for me to believe when I left here at eleven thirty." Keith felt bad, he knew that was a lie, he left right after ten but he had to know what had happened.

Veronica shook her head "Okay so I had a little bit too much rum and coke, Veronica left out the part about the ruffie, and had to wait till I sobered up before I could drive home." Veronica gave him a 'just drop it' look "I'm sorry okay?" she said.

Keith knew that couldn't be the whole story but Back-up took that moment to bark at them and cry.

"Listen dad I gotta take Back-up for a walk before he pees on the carpet." Veronica said standing up and walking over to the pitbull.

Keith knew that Veronica wasn't gonna say anything more at the moment; he would have to bring it up again later.

"Alright" he said standing up "I need to take a nap anyways." he walked past Veronica and went to go into his room.

"Dad?" Veronica said behind him and he turned back around before he was completely out of the room.

Veronica walked over to him and gave him a hug, Keith hugged her back as he felt her let out a deep breath she had been holding in. He wished he knew what was wrong.


	2. Small White Purse

Veronica strolled along the shore line with Back-up, who had finally been able to relieve himself, running along in front of her.

Veronica had just been happy to get out of the house. Her dad made her nervous when he knew she was hiding something, but she just couldn't tell him. Veronica sat down in the sand. "Oh Lilly" she whispered "I wish you were here."

Back-up ran over to her a nuzzled her. "Thanks Back-up I appreciate the sentiment" she said hugging the dog's neck.

Veronica could have stayed on the beach all day but she knew that her dad's suspicion would just grow if she didn't get home soon. Walking into the apartment, she unhooked Back-up's leash and watched him go lie down near the couch.

She walked passed her dad's room and looked in, he was still asleep. Veronica was just about to go to her room and work on her laptop when there was a knock on the door. Veronica turned around, she didn't think they were expecting anyone and normally no one came to their apartment complex.

She turned and went to the door. "Duncan?" she questioned when she opened the door, he was standing there with his hands behind his back and looking into the distance.

"Uh yeah hey Veronica." he muttered.

Veronica was shocked; Duncan Kane hadn't talked to her since the day he had broken up with her.

Duncan was fidgety "I just came to say that…" he trailed off and looked around. He looked anywhere but actually at Veronica.

Veronica tried to read him; she hated not being able to figure out what was on people's minds.

Finally Duncan pulled a small white purse from behind his back and shoved it into Veronica's hand. Someone told me this was yours but didn't know where you lived so I just came to drop it off." then he turned to leave.

"Wait Duncan" Veronica almost shouted. This was possibly her chance; if someone had given Duncan her purse maybe they were or had known the person that Veronica had spent the night with.

Duncan turned and looked at Veronica with an annoyed look "What?" he snapped.

Veronica tried not to look hurt. "I just…who was it that gave you my purse?" she asked.

Duncan shook his head "I dunno some random guy."

Veronica felt her heart sink "What do you mean you don't know?"

Now Duncan just looked angry "How am I supposed to know. Do you think I know every rich kid in this area? Well I don't, god why couldn't you just be a normal human being and take the purse with a thank you." he shouted at Veronica.

"Hey!" Keith said coming from his room, the yelling had woken him up "don't talk to my daughter like that."

Duncan backed off, with a glare on his face. He walked away leaving Veronica standing there no closer to the truth but definitely more upset.

"Veronica" Keith said coming up to her.

"Don't" Veronica said, she walked past him and slammed the door to her room.

Veronica sat on her bed with her knees held against her chest. She wished her mom was still around so she could talk to her but her mom had run off three days after her dad had been sacked.

Things just weren't going right this year.


	3. A New Style

Keith was worried about Veronica, for the last three days, since her fight with Duncan; she only came out of her room to walk Back-up.

He hadn't been able to bring up a discussion about the party because every time he tried to talk to her, she would shut him out. He guessed that she was mad because he had interfered with her and Duncan and had embarrassed her.

What worried him most was that normally when she was angry, she would speak her mind and let anyone who questioned her know about it. But after the party, she hadn't once yelled at Keith she was quiet when she was around him and barely talked at all. At night, before he would go to sleep he could swear that he heard her crying.

For once in a long time he was stumped, Veronica usually told him everything, even sometimes when he wished she wouldn't.

He had just finished making pancakes when he heard her door creek open. He turned towards her bedroom to ask if she wanted something to eat and was shocked at what he found.

His daughter, who normally dressed in a very pink and girly fashion, was standing before him in what used to be a blue long sleeve shirt which was now cut into a t-shirt and a pair of old worn out jeans he hadn't seen her wear since grade six.

"Morning dad" she said in a cheery voice, almost like the last few days had never even transpired. "You made pancakes yummy. I just have to take Back-up for a walk but I'll be home in like twenty minutes."

She walked over to Keith and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then called to Back-up and they were out the door.

Keith just stood still as he watched her go, he must be dreaming cause that was a very strange version of his daughter.

* * *

Veronica laughed as she and Back-up made their way to the park near their apartment, her dad had looked so awe-struck.

When Veronica woke up that morning, she had made herself get out of bed. She was still upset but she couldn't let herself waste away her own life. She got dressed today determined to figure out who had...well done that to her.

She had looked at herself in the mirror and decided she needed a change. Lilly had always told her that she dressed like a cross between a four year old and Barbie and that she really needed to up the style level.

Veronica played with her long blonde hair as she walked. She hadn't been totally truthful with her dad when she said she was just going to walk Back-up. She was going to make a quick run to their local barber before she headed home. She needed to finish off her new look.

The barber wasn't that far, it only took her and Back-up five minutes to get there. She tied up Back-up's leash right outside the store; she wasn't going to be that long. She gave the dog a treat that she had in her pocket and patted him on the head before she walked into the store.

"Veronica Mars" Mark Right, the owner and sole barber of the little shop said patting her on the shoulder in greeting. Veronica had to stop herself from cringing at the touch. "I haven't seen you for what? Must be a year at least."

Veronica almost rolled her eyes; it had definitely not been a year, more like six months. She had always loved having long hair and hated coming to get it cut, even if it was only a trim. "Yeah something like that" Veronica said with a fake smile. She guessed she should be less annoyed, Mark Right was one of the people who had stuck by her and her father when most people hadn't.

Mark laughed then smiled at her "What can I do for you today?" he asked "Your usual, a short trim?"

"No actually, I was thinking more of shoulder length maybe a little shorter." Veronica told him waiting for his reaction.

Mark shook his head "Wow. Now that is a surprise, I don't think I've ever cut off more than a couple inches for you."

"Well I've decided I would like something a little different." Veronica said

"If it's what you want." Mark said "Just come take a seat right over here." he pointed to the closest chair.

Veronica sat down running her hands through her hair for the last time, she looked in the mirror 'I hope this is what I want' she thought as Mark took out the scissors.


End file.
